Toddlers and Quilting Don't Mix

(Cross-Post)

In case there was any doubt - toddlers and quilting don't mix.

This doesn't mean I'm giving up already, it just means that I'm already anticipating the problems and finding solutions (like the Super-Mommy I am ;) Well, thinking of finding solutions - none found as of yet.

Sitting down at the sewing machine last night, I had a flood of memories. A FLOOD as in "I actually wound up in tears."

Back when I was taking all of these classes and quilting so much, I wasn't a Mom. In fact, it hadn't been all that long since we'd found out about our whole "No Babies" status. It was the time somewhere after the debilitating depression days and just at the beginning of the hobby-and-travel escapism days.

I had an office just off the living room, with my computer and my sewing desk. I didn't have to pick things up at night, or after nap time, because there were no little hands to drop the magnetic pin cushion or figure out how to slide the rotary cutter open on his first try. It was my command center, and it was all MY space. I could sit there for hours at the sewing machine and lose myself in the order and the symmetry, the math and the rules. I think I liked it so much because it was something I could control. Cutting, stitching, pressing - creating something beautiful out of these little pieces of fabric was actually something I could *DO* - and a substitute, for a little while, of what I couldn't. And it was fun, too.

These days - instead of an office, I have a den/playroom that is N's space. Sometimes, I get to watch tv in there, but mostly it's just Sesame Street. I don't get to sew in there. Instead, I'm at the dining room table. I most definitely have to pick up the needles and scissors and rotary cutters when I am done. And I don't have the luxury of sitting there for hours at the sewing machine and getting lost - my time is limited.

I bet you think I'm going to launch into a trite-but-sweet sentence or two about preferring things this way. Well, yes, of course I do - but what I've really been thinking about last night and this morning is that I have to remember that it's okay to pursue these other things I love, too. I've missed quilting. Somehow, for some reason, it's the art form that speaks to me and satisfies a part of my soul. I'm thankful I found it when I did, that it helped me pass the time until I was meant to become a Mom. In the grand scheme of things, I think N will be better served by a Mommy who has her soul fed by her passions occasionally than by a Mommy who forgets about all of the things that make her, well, her.

Now - off to design a toddler-proof sewing basket.